Thursday, November 19, 2009
Married Life
There are no two finger prints exactly the same, so why would a second marriage even resemble the first? When I agreed to marry this wonderful man I could not have ever guessed the changes that would be required in each of us. We both had very different relationships that developed strong coping skills. Skills that worked well in the past but now have to be honed for our new relationship. It has been like learning a new dance, that keeps us on our toes and leaning heavily on the other for balance. Truly a new concept for a woman on her own for 3 yrs. For those of you who have a clear understanding of my inclination to fix a problem NOW... you will believe the change when you see it.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Two Days
It has only been 8 weeks since we began dating and in 2 days we are getting married!
It sounds rediculous to my ears, but when you add up the hours that we have spent face to face and take in to account the e-mail and phone calls, we have actually spent more than 9 months of dating time together. More than 500 hours in all. There is little of importance that we do not know about the other and are thoroughly enjoying the relaxed banter that usually only comes after years of companionship. We have actually only gone to one movie, and every dinner date was so intent on exploring our dark and goofy sides that we are now quite comfortable finishing each others sentences. Life seems to begin after 55 if you are seriously looking for it. Will need to get some photos on this site soon. Can't wait for the big day!
It sounds rediculous to my ears, but when you add up the hours that we have spent face to face and take in to account the e-mail and phone calls, we have actually spent more than 9 months of dating time together. More than 500 hours in all. There is little of importance that we do not know about the other and are thoroughly enjoying the relaxed banter that usually only comes after years of companionship. We have actually only gone to one movie, and every dinner date was so intent on exploring our dark and goofy sides that we are now quite comfortable finishing each others sentences. Life seems to begin after 55 if you are seriously looking for it. Will need to get some photos on this site soon. Can't wait for the big day!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Nuts or lunatics?
Life has hit me in the face. Two months ago I would have been able to tell you what my life would look like six months ahead. Now I hardly know what next week will look like. My grandsons no longer fill the void in my heart, which I must admit is a relief. I love them to pieces, but understand that they will grow better without the greenhouse of affection that grandparents can generate. God has answered my prayers and presented me with a man who meets every detail I have been whining about. If it took 3 yrs for God to send him to me it might be pretty risky to wait for a second or third to come my way. How old would that make me?
I have been constantly depicted as too fussy, over strict, or excentric in my views of marriage. The really frightening part of this new relationship is the lack of compromise on both sides. Maybe we are being too polite, on our best behavior, or hiding some rare mental illness that allows us to understand each others perspective for just long enough to really get committed. We are both surprised, relieved, and thrilled to know there is another person who affirms our deepest beliefs and desires. Is that called a soul mate?
Once the important issues have been exposed, we are still faced with the decision to lead our hearts to the dangerous cliff. Do we want to fall in love? Is he waiting for me to say it first?
No worries there. He declared his love after a month but risked rejection with a proposal first.
This gift is a keeper!
I have been constantly depicted as too fussy, over strict, or excentric in my views of marriage. The really frightening part of this new relationship is the lack of compromise on both sides. Maybe we are being too polite, on our best behavior, or hiding some rare mental illness that allows us to understand each others perspective for just long enough to really get committed. We are both surprised, relieved, and thrilled to know there is another person who affirms our deepest beliefs and desires. Is that called a soul mate?
Once the important issues have been exposed, we are still faced with the decision to lead our hearts to the dangerous cliff. Do we want to fall in love? Is he waiting for me to say it first?
No worries there. He declared his love after a month but risked rejection with a proposal first.
This gift is a keeper!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Warp Speed Dating!
Okay so I didn't get back to my blog immediately, but that's not because I had to hitch hike back from Vernon. My date and I had some civil dinners and casual walks along the lake. All very proper and respectable. He allowed me the dignity of paying for my own room and was a perfect gentleman.
We talked for hours but said more about ourselves by the way we acted so serious. At our age we can't waste time flirting with someone totally wrong for us. On the third day the veneer finally broke and I had my first "first kiss" in 36 yrs. I was dazed to say the least.
An emergency back in Vancouver found us south of the US border on our way to Levinworth. The slow road back to the I- 5 gave us 6 more hours to talk trivia. Road construction after a nice dinner added to the tension. His daughter make up the master bedroom so I could stay the night. That was just weird, but was too tired to demand my own hotel room.
The next day we braved another hour at the border to head for Bellevue to see my friends.
Our visit with them gave both of us time to reflect and defuse our tension. He likes my friends almost as much as I do. The next day I learned how musically talented he is and found out that it's really nice to be kissed again.
Of course that meant that for a week I could think of little else than the second kiss. So how will this end? We both think we know, and hope we are not wrong. Only God knows for sure and we have to be content with His plan for now.
It is nothing short of a miracle that two people can be so much alike. That's actually a little scarey if you know how odd I am.
We talked for hours but said more about ourselves by the way we acted so serious. At our age we can't waste time flirting with someone totally wrong for us. On the third day the veneer finally broke and I had my first "first kiss" in 36 yrs. I was dazed to say the least.
An emergency back in Vancouver found us south of the US border on our way to Levinworth. The slow road back to the I- 5 gave us 6 more hours to talk trivia. Road construction after a nice dinner added to the tension. His daughter make up the master bedroom so I could stay the night. That was just weird, but was too tired to demand my own hotel room.
The next day we braved another hour at the border to head for Bellevue to see my friends.
Our visit with them gave both of us time to reflect and defuse our tension. He likes my friends almost as much as I do. The next day I learned how musically talented he is and found out that it's really nice to be kissed again.
Of course that meant that for a week I could think of little else than the second kiss. So how will this end? We both think we know, and hope we are not wrong. Only God knows for sure and we have to be content with His plan for now.
It is nothing short of a miracle that two people can be so much alike. That's actually a little scarey if you know how odd I am.
Monday, August 17, 2009
A Lot Can Happen in Six Weeks
Life was settling into a lazy summer with relatives visiting and lots of lovely walks at the beach. It's been six weeks since I even looked at my blog, and although the first four weeks were uneventful, I was just relaxing and enjoying my first summer back on the island.
Now most of you who know me well are aware that I have been whining to God about finding the right man. Not just any man of decent character, but one who knows and understands the Bible better than me, and isn't living in shame over a messy divorce, his kids respect him, he is confident in his career, and had made wise decisions in his marriage, someone who knows the pain of losing a spouse due to natural causes, and isn't desparate for a mate, but wants the right mate too, and is willing to do the homework to get to know each other. The proverbial needle in the haystack was in my own back yard, or at least my daughters back yard.
I was given a three day free trial on a Christian dating site, which loosly translated means 'desparate people who will join every site imaginable'. I hadn't seen this guy last year when I checked the site. He is my age even and not looking for hot arm candy. Which is a good thing if you have seen my hips lately.
In the last week we have had two lovely dates and quizzed each other thoroughly about doctrine.
This seemed to put both of us a ease. If the waiters were listening to our conversations I'm sure they would have thought one of us was interviewing for a job. So we have decided to see if we can get to know the darker side by travelling to Kelowna to visit his family, and may have time to visit some of mine too before heading to Bellevue to let my friends grill him for endless hours.
The poor guy has no idea, but then neither do I. If this goes well we will officially be an 'item'. Two 55 yr olds can be very set in their ways and have very diverse eating and sleeping schedules.
For those whose minds are wandering all over the map with us, I intend to pay for my own room even though he has offered. You never know, I may need the extra air miles for a special vacation one day. I will definitely blogg when I get back, unless he drops me on the side of the road out of shear boredom.
Now most of you who know me well are aware that I have been whining to God about finding the right man. Not just any man of decent character, but one who knows and understands the Bible better than me, and isn't living in shame over a messy divorce, his kids respect him, he is confident in his career, and had made wise decisions in his marriage, someone who knows the pain of losing a spouse due to natural causes, and isn't desparate for a mate, but wants the right mate too, and is willing to do the homework to get to know each other. The proverbial needle in the haystack was in my own back yard, or at least my daughters back yard.
I was given a three day free trial on a Christian dating site, which loosly translated means 'desparate people who will join every site imaginable'. I hadn't seen this guy last year when I checked the site. He is my age even and not looking for hot arm candy. Which is a good thing if you have seen my hips lately.
In the last week we have had two lovely dates and quizzed each other thoroughly about doctrine.
This seemed to put both of us a ease. If the waiters were listening to our conversations I'm sure they would have thought one of us was interviewing for a job. So we have decided to see if we can get to know the darker side by travelling to Kelowna to visit his family, and may have time to visit some of mine too before heading to Bellevue to let my friends grill him for endless hours.
The poor guy has no idea, but then neither do I. If this goes well we will officially be an 'item'. Two 55 yr olds can be very set in their ways and have very diverse eating and sleeping schedules.
For those whose minds are wandering all over the map with us, I intend to pay for my own room even though he has offered. You never know, I may need the extra air miles for a special vacation one day. I will definitely blogg when I get back, unless he drops me on the side of the road out of shear boredom.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Out of Control
As my friends know, I like to do my renovations "myself". Today I have a very slow crew of 2 installing marble slabs to the walls in my main bathroom. One of them broke a pipe connection and now we await the plumber to come and weld another piece on.
Now my family have been quick to dislike my taste in white tile walls or even limestone. What they were really saying is that no one else will pay money for a plain white bathroom. It has been a private preferrance for years and I won't likely change any time soon. So as a way of upgrading my plain white bathroom into something more luxurious I have men installing marble.
I could have had white tile in there a week ago, and I wouldn't have played with the pipes.
Though I'm sure the wait will be worth it I will need to tack an extra $4000. to the price to break even on the reno of just one little shower. After 2 hrs the plummer has finally arrived.
The new windows have been ordered and will be installed sometime in July. No I will not install them myself. I know my limits. I can't have new tub surround installed until the window over the tub is replaced. I'm beginning to think limestone will be just as pretty and soooooooooooo much cheaper. Besides I can do it "myself".
I did find some beautiful cork tile for the main bath and wish I had found it before I replaced the tile in the ensuite. Now when the crew is gone I can mix up 50 lbs of self levelling cement and then seal it and install cork tiles. Then the new toilet which is sitting in boxes in my sun room can be installed; towel bars go in last and I'm ready for company. Come and try out the new shower.
In the mean time I am hearing a variety of cuss words coming from the next room. I hope that means they are making progress. At least I hear a blow torch, but now the smoke detector is sounding, and 2 guys are loitering in the hall. It's a lovely day for a walk to the beach. I doubt they would miss me.
Now my family have been quick to dislike my taste in white tile walls or even limestone. What they were really saying is that no one else will pay money for a plain white bathroom. It has been a private preferrance for years and I won't likely change any time soon. So as a way of upgrading my plain white bathroom into something more luxurious I have men installing marble.
I could have had white tile in there a week ago, and I wouldn't have played with the pipes.
Though I'm sure the wait will be worth it I will need to tack an extra $4000. to the price to break even on the reno of just one little shower. After 2 hrs the plummer has finally arrived.
The new windows have been ordered and will be installed sometime in July. No I will not install them myself. I know my limits. I can't have new tub surround installed until the window over the tub is replaced. I'm beginning to think limestone will be just as pretty and soooooooooooo much cheaper. Besides I can do it "myself".
I did find some beautiful cork tile for the main bath and wish I had found it before I replaced the tile in the ensuite. Now when the crew is gone I can mix up 50 lbs of self levelling cement and then seal it and install cork tiles. Then the new toilet which is sitting in boxes in my sun room can be installed; towel bars go in last and I'm ready for company. Come and try out the new shower.
In the mean time I am hearing a variety of cuss words coming from the next room. I hope that means they are making progress. At least I hear a blow torch, but now the smoke detector is sounding, and 2 guys are loitering in the hall. It's a lovely day for a walk to the beach. I doubt they would miss me.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Past the Half Way mark!
There's no going back now! The floors are finished, electrical is mostly done, and the door trim is being installed today. The new toilet and all three sinks work well without any leaks and the sun room is scraped down to the ply wood. It's beginning to feel homey if not mine. I have great neighbours here which is a special gift in this world of transients. My poor nails are growing back after days of filing them down. "more work than removing acrylic nails".
I'll have to get the kids to show me how to upload some photos on this site.
My other place may never rent with the market flooded in White Rock, so we may have ourselves a summer place to take inflatable mattresses or refurnish it in modern Sally-Ann. I'll decide that over the next few weeks. It could be a really fun summer.
I'll have to get the kids to show me how to upload some photos on this site.
My other place may never rent with the market flooded in White Rock, so we may have ourselves a summer place to take inflatable mattresses or refurnish it in modern Sally-Ann. I'll decide that over the next few weeks. It could be a really fun summer.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Save Your Nails?
I have been feeling the need to express my feminine side lately. Plumbers putty and sawdust are definitely not part of my favourite make-up ritual so I had my nails "done". For the first time in my life I had gel nails installed on my digits. My daughter had hers done at Christmas and couldn't say enough about them so I jumped in with both hands. She never told me that her fingers were tender for days after as where mine. Has any one done research on this stuff? They look a little pretentious but I think I may have found a great way to protect my own nails while installing drains and flooring. Who knew? While I will not likely be having these handy scratchers reinstalled they have already protected my own nails and maintained my womanly image. Oh yah, the Mango bubble bath from the Body Shop really helps after a long day playing with teflon tape. Tonight I get to sleep in my own bed again until the weekend when I will repeat my circuit to the island again. The floors are nearly done and it is time to book the movers.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Home is where the heart is!
Last week I started remodelling my next home. It is a messy and painful way to nest. I have the cuts and bruises to prove it. Though many and even most think I am odd I am sleeping better than I have in more than a year. That's about when my current home was finished. The icing on the cake is that this is the first home I have bought alone. There are no old memories hidden in every closet; I'm sure I will bring many with me. I will choose where they fit and when to enjoy them. The best joy of all is being able to see my own beautiful grandsons whenever they want. They aren't constrained by socially acceptable behavior, but love me as much as I love them.
Tomorrow I take another load of memories with me and get to help install my new kitchen. I hope I can sleep tonight with all the excitement.
Tomorrow I take another load of memories with me and get to help install my new kitchen. I hope I can sleep tonight with all the excitement.
Monday, January 12, 2009
It's a Done Deal
I finally went and did something I only dreamed of doing. I actually bought something in a buyers market. Our motto used to always be Buy High Sell Low; at least that's the way it seemed to work.
The condo I found is a 55 and over building so it will be quiet, but I guess the cat is out of the bag on my age. It is 250 square feet bigger than my current place so that in itself is worth the disclosure of my well guarded secret. The icing on the cake for me and the kids is that I am a 3 min walk from them. My son-in-law has not verbalized his thoughts on this so I must assume he is "ecstatic" about this too.
The rental agent for this place will be here tomorrow, so I have a last minute scramble to make it look as valuable as possible. I've decided not to rent until Mar 1 which I hope will give me plenty of time to get all the details out of the way including income tax before I move. Wish me luck on the latter!
The condo I found is a 55 and over building so it will be quiet, but I guess the cat is out of the bag on my age. It is 250 square feet bigger than my current place so that in itself is worth the disclosure of my well guarded secret. The icing on the cake for me and the kids is that I am a 3 min walk from them. My son-in-law has not verbalized his thoughts on this so I must assume he is "ecstatic" about this too.
The rental agent for this place will be here tomorrow, so I have a last minute scramble to make it look as valuable as possible. I've decided not to rent until Mar 1 which I hope will give me plenty of time to get all the details out of the way including income tax before I move. Wish me luck on the latter!
Saturday, January 3, 2009
To Rent or Not to Rent.
I have been waffling over selling my condo as opposed to putting it back on the rental circuit. Well today my tax assessment came in and if my accountant doesn't have a stroke I think I may just be renting it out in a couple of months. The assessment is substantially lower than it had been which will lower the asking price substantially. So even if the market is better it will be a challenge to find a house in Victoria in my range. However the condo market is a buyers market there so I can slip into a much larger unit and actually increase my income as well. Logic tells me this may be the best option. That will make the kids very happy and I think it will fit well with my short term goals. If anyone knows of a renter with a good credit rating looking for a beach condo let me know.
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